Kindness and Confidence

   Lately, I've been going through the day and hitting bumps in the road. I'm a very positive person, and I see the good in life. I find a reason to be happy, except discouragement has been creeping up on me. In the back of my head are these thoughts that I can't shake. 

   I have felt stuck. I haven't been writing, and I've been dreading going to work. I'm content with my life, yet I want something. I seem to be complaining throughout the day. I hate complaining (and how ironic because that is a complaint!). I am one of those people that feel like if you are gonna complain, do something about it.

   So I've decided to do just that. I'm gonna work on those things I've been complaining about. I'm going to become the best me that I can be. I'm gonna lose this extra baby weight and become a girl that has her life together. 

   My sister and I are starting this diet, except I hope it will become more than a diet. I am starting a lifestyle. I'm cutting out soda, sugar, carbs, and junk food. We are going to become healthy and fit. We are going to encourage each other and remind each other to love ourselves and our bodies. 

   I'm planning out my next year. I'm going to start keeping lists again, and crossing things off those lists. I'm going to make goals and fulfill those goals. 

   I'm realizing that I am strong. I'm going to remind myself that I am an amazing person that has done and will do amazing things. I will remind myself that my body has grown a child, has birthed a child, and is still sustaining my child. I've got to take care of my body and be confident. 

  I'm gonna remind myself that kindness is a big deal. It means so much to hear that I'm doing a good job. It means so much to hear a stranger tell me I look good for having a baby. I can't stop smiling when someone tells me I look good on a bad day. I remember those moments as the days go on and I talk about those strangers and am so thankful for their kind words.

   I want to keep that kindness moving forward. I want to compliment strangers and friends. I want to remind my family I love them. I'm going to try to be kind to myself as well. Kindness is key, and my short term goal for right now is kindness and confidence. 

   xx

Life with a Three Month Old

   Let me just say, I love my baby more and more as time goes by. I don't know how my love grows for him, because I love him with everything already. It truly is amazing. Ryder had his two month checkup (even though he is already three months, I know, I'm an awful mother) and he got his two month shots.

   He did so well. He did not cry a lot, only when they stuck him. Poor baby, he was given a little bit of baby Tylenol, and between the Tylenol and the shots, Ryder slept more than usual. When he woke up and became fussy because the Tylenol had wore off, I gave him a bit more. Let me tell you, I've never seen such a look of betrayal on my son's face. He did not like being given Tylenol at all. 

   He is growing up so well. He is 24.5 inches long, and he weighs 13 pounds and 14 ounces. He is roughly in the 50th percentile. I can tell he is starting to get chunky. He is still exclusively breastfeeding, and it is so encouraging to know that he is right on track with his weight and height. 

   Ryder loves sleeping, especially on his stomach. I'm a stomach sleeper, so I can't blame him, but I can't sleep when he is on his tummy because it scares me. Babies aren't supposed to really sleep on their stomach. I can't wait till he is rolling on his own and rolls onto his stomach, then it won't worry me as much.

   It is so cool seeing my baby grow. He is literally growing before my very eyes. He has started looking at things and studying them. He is noticing his toys and his hands. It is so awesome seeing him realize that his toy is there. He loves his hands in his mouth, and he gets better at getting them there every day.

   He is fitting into 3-6 month clothing the best, although he can wear 3 month still, and 6 month too. It is so hard to think that this little baby of mine used to fit inside me. I carried this child in my stomach for nine months, and now here he is. It is insane to look at him and know that I created him. I've said things like that before, and I'm sure that as he gets older, it will get harder and harder to believe. 

   I love having a 3 month old, even though I miss my small, precious newborn. I'm excited for what is to come, I know it is going to be a whirlwind from now on. I can definitely wait for him to grow up, because I love the now. I'm gonna miss him being so little, but I am so excited. 

xx