I Was There Once Too

   It is amazing how far I've come. The only people who really know the journey I've been on is my family. 

   You hear people joke about how they put their parents through the ringer, well for me, it wasn't a joke. It is true that you realise how good you had it when you grow up. As a 21 year old mother of my own little boy, I look back and wish I could have made it easier for my parents. 

   When I was 14 years old, I started cutting. I just wanted to know what it was like to cut. Then I realised that people let me do whatever I want when they saw my arm. So I used it to my advantage. I could stop whenever I wanted, but I loved seeing people's reactions when I was such a seemingly happy girl. Depression slowly creeped in and I contemplated suicide once or twice. 

   I was always scared to die though. I knew it would be a selfish thing to do. I thank God that He gave me that fear. I stopped cutting for a good bit of time during high school. I was genuinely happy during my sophomore and junior year of high school, but then the depression crept back in. 

   My senior year was a hard year for me. Outwardly it was fine, but my inner struggles were a battle. I started cutting again and had no desire to do anything. I felt like I had no real friends and I had to fight to keep the darkness from taking over again. 

   I was so happy to graduate, and I decided to leave home and go to a new state. I decided to live in a place where I knew no one. I could start over. While I was there, the devil was determined to discourage me again. I had a good first semester of college, but by the end of the first semester, I wanted to go home. I even packed my bags and began driving home. I missed my family, and my mom found out she was pregnant while I was away at college. That added to my desire to come home. I wasn't there for my mom, and that was so hard for me. 

   To make matters worse, a girl told lies about me to the college for reasons that I will probably never know. Because of those lies, I had to go to counselling and almost got kicked out. I thought a year away from home would help me so much, yet the opposite happened. I was more depressed than I had ever been and the cutting started again. 

   I was so much better when I got home. I stopped cutting, and started to finally mend myself. I started winning the battles with depression I had. Not all of them, but some of them. I started going out and drinking every now and again though. I also started smoking cigarettes. I started going out more and more, and then came the day that I found out I was pregnant. The path I was going down came to an abrupt change.

   2014 was the year I decided to change my life, but I had no idea it would change as much as it did. The day after New Years I got a tattoo on my arm, over the scars where I'd regularly cut. Infragilis et Tenera. It's Latin for unbreakable and fragile. I realised that I was unbreakable, I am strong. I can win the battle with depression. God is on my side, and He is the only reason I've made it this far. He will continue to be my strength, but I'm still fragile. I can't just be reckless, and do whatever I want.

   I had no idea the change God had in plan for me. I found out I was pregnant the day after Valentine's Day. The partying had to stop, and my life needed to change. That wasn't as hard for me to do as I thought it would have been. I would have never chosen to have Ryder when I did, yet at the same time, God had perfect timing and knew exactly what it would take for me to get my life on track. 

   I am in no way saying that if your life needs change that a baby is a solution. But for me, it was. Ryder changed my life for the better. Since becoming pregnant, I have not been depressed like I used to be, neither have I cut. Now I can truly look back and see what hurt and pain I put everyone around me in. I would have done things differently if I could. I would not have started cutting. I would not have put my parents through the worry that I now know they must've suffered. I would not have left home for a year.

   I also realise that everything has happened for a reason. When I moved from home, it was one of the worse years, but I became closer to my mom than I had been for a long time. I realise that my depression has made me stronger because I've learned how to deal with it. Hopefully the things I've done and gone through give me the actual experience to help someone else. Maybe I can help someone not make the decisions I did make. I can relate to some people in ways others can't because of some of my experiences. 

   I've come such a long way. I am nothing like I used to be. I have gone through more than most people know about, and I am proud of where I am now. I am proud that I've had trials that I've overcome. I hope that my children make better choices than I did. I hope my siblings see the mistakes I made and make better choices. I hope that anyone who reads this realises that everyone has their own battles that they are fighting through, but that it is possible that someone is fighting a battle very similar to yours. Others have made it through the bad stuff. 

   I am 21 years old and I love my life. I could not imagine my life how it is now as a 14 year old girl. If I could go back and tell that 14 year old girl about how much she had to look forward to, maybe things would have been easier. Life truly does get better. When you are at the bottom, the only way to go is up. Push through whatever it is you are going through, you'll be thankful you did, I promise.

xx

Diaper Bag at Five and a Half Months

   I love seeing what is in people's purses, backpacks, and diaper bags. Maybe I'm just a really nosy person, but I think you can tell something's about a person by the contents of their bag. I decided that after 5 1/2 months, I've got this diaper bag thing down, except for when I forgot to replace the extra clothes in the diaper bag, Ryder ended up wearing a diaper and a beanie till we got to Ross. In a positive light, Ryder got a really cute, new outfit!

   I use my Vera Bradley diaper bag. It is awesome, everything fits, it is easy to carry, and it is stylish. I also have matching accessories, which is pretty awesome. I have the bottle holder, the paci holder, the baby blanket, and the key chain!(: Now, onto the contents!

I have diapers and wipes (duh!), we use Pampers, because it is the best for us. I also have little bags to put clothes on when Ryder has a blowout.

Neat cheeks (a new and awesome product) to wipe Ryder's face, they have a sweet flavor (which is so much better than wipes!) and they aren't sticky (ig - @theneatcheeks). And a pack of Kleenex.

I always have an extra outfit (ig's - pants-@joyaltee, tank onesie-@littleurbanapparel) , extra socks, and extra beanie (ig - @twolittlekings). His paci is MAM brand, and the clip is leather with his name on it, made by @coconutrobot on ig.

Toys are a must now, especially with Ryder getting older and needing more to keep him entertained. He loves his wooden teeter fox (from @bannortoys on ig) and his fox lovey (from Carter's). 

I have to nursing covers, one of them doubles as a seat cover, and both work as scarves. The flowered one comes from @coveredgoods on ig, and the gray with triangles comes from @kismetlovecollection on ig. They both work as a makeshift blanket or mat as well. Although I always have at least one blanket, usually Ryder's personalized one from @kennedyscollection on ig.

I have a thing of mascara (Rimmel brand just from Walgreens) and a perfume rolly ball (Tease from VS). Lip balm is a must, I love my eos lip balm.

I almost always have at least two nursing necklaces, which are both from @mamaandlittle on ig. They are seriously the best thing. They are cute and Ryder loves them!

Last, but not least, my ring sling frond Sakura Bloom (ig - @lovesakurabloom). I love my ring sling, and I don't know what I'd do without it. It is so much easier than hauling Ryder around in his seat. And it fits perfectly in my bag, which is awesome.

   Hope you enjoyed seeing what was in Ryder's bag. I also usually have a water bottle, some kind of snack, my wallet (which is also Vera Bradley), and another onesie (for safe measure). Hand sanitizer and changing pad are connected to the actual bag. Sophie the Giraffe also makes its way in their most of the time, so it varies with time, but this is the usual.

Is there anything you use that I don't have and should, let me know!! I am always up for suggestions!(:

An Easter Letter to my Baby

   I sit here on my bed and gently rock you. We've just gotten out of the shower. You have that amazing, clean baby smell. I need to put you down and get ready because it is Easter morning. You are supposed to look your best on Easter morning. That is why some people go to church, to show off their new Easter clothes and goodies. People actually wake up extra early to make sure they look extra good.

   I always have. I've always bought a new dress for Easter. I wake up on Easter morning and go check the Easter basket to see if the Easter bunny left anything good. My family had a really awesome Easter bunny growing up, in fact, I almost saw him once when I was about seven, but that is another story for another day. 

   You were fussy and hungry, so I fed you. You kept rubbing your eyes, and I knew you would fall asleep soon. My sister is playing some worship music in the other room while she is getting ready, so I'm just singing along with those. I've set my phone down, and I'm focused on you. You are just looking at me as I sing to you.

   I'm an awful singer. I can carry a tune, but that doesn't mean I can sing very well. As I sing you just take everything in. You love that I'm singing to you. You are slowly drifting off to my almost off key singing. As your eyelids become heavier every time you blink, I tear up. I'm sitting here with you, and you are the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. 

   You love me so much, and it doesn't matter that I can't sing. It doesn't matter that I have to get ready. It is Easter morning. This is the day we celebrate that Jesus rose from the dead. We celebrate life today, and because of that life, you and I have life, little one. I am reminded that God gave you to me. God gave me a glimpse of His plan for me, to be a mother. I am your mother, and I love you so much.

   Jesus died on the cross for you, and he rose again three days later. I still need to get ready for church, but I think I'll just rock you a little bit longer and thank God for everything He has done. I hope that you grow to love Easter and everything that goes with it. I hope you look forward to the Easter bunny bringing your Easter basket, but I hope I never forget to teach you the real reason we have Easter. I hope that I always remind you of your Heavenly Father. 

   I'm thankful for mommy moments such as this. I'm overjoyed that I have you in my arms this Easter. Your first Easter of hopefully very many. Happy Easter my little one. Mommy loves you.

xx

Easter Basket

   Easter is in just a week! I have been busy with a birthday and being a momma, so I haven't had time to write lately. I have a few posts in mind to write down and share, so hopefully I will get a few posts out these next few weeks.

   I wanted to just share my littles Easter basket! Maybe give you some last minute ideas, or future gift ideas.

   Ryder has lots of fox clothing from Carters, so I found the blanket that goes with it all. I got three board books, two Dr. Seuss, and one Biscuit the Puppy book. Two wooden toys from Bannor Toys, a wooden car and a wooden bunny teether. I also got a JellyCat bunny which has Ryder's initials on the ear!

   I'm super excited for Ryder to open his basket. The wooden toys have his name on them, and I also got some swim trunks for him. I got some dark chocolate to put on the eggs, but those are for me! 

  I love putting books in the basket, as well as toys. The blankets came from JC Penneys, books from Toys R Us, wooden toys from Bannor Toys (@bannortoys on ig), the monogrammed Jellycat bunny from Peekawho (@peekawhoo on ig)! The swim trunks and the basket are both from Target. 

   I got Ryder's Easter morning outfit from JC Penneys, and his lounge outfit from Target. He will be using his mint cross Wren and Rumor blanket (@wrenandrumor on ig) and he has dollar bunny ears from Target as well.

   I'm super excited for Easter because Ryder is old enough to get excited for things! There will definitely be pictures on my Instagram on Easter, and I might try to do a recap post afterwards! 

  I will be writing a birthday post soon, and some other things. If you have any suggestions, or things you'd like to hear my thoughts on, feel free to get ahold of me, whether email or social media. I hope everyone has an amazing Easter, I'm sure Ryder and I will!

xx

No Longer a Secret

   I'm so excited for Easter. Easter is the time of year that calls for a new dress, and last year was no different.. except for the fact that I was pregnant. I had just found out I was pregnant this time last year. As I was trying on dresses, I was wondering what I'd look like with a big, pregnant belly. I had no idea I wouldn't even show till my third trimester. I had no idea whether I was having a boy or a girl, and only a handful of people knew I was even pregnant.

   I was already thinking of names, and I was trying not to worry or stress out too much. I was only about seven or eight weeks along. I wanted to see a doctor so badly so that I knew everything would be alright. I had no idea I'd be holding a perfectly healthy four month old a year later. I was more tired than usual, and I had no idea that growing a baby that was about the size of a speck was so tiring. 

   I finally found a beautiful cream dress, but the same night I bought it, someone stole it. I was so angry, and I was being so dramatic because I was so sad. I knew I would never find a dress as pretty, and I felt like I had thrown money down the drain. Then the next day I got a call, and as pregnancy brain would have it, I had left it in the Victoria's Secret changing room. 

   So I had a beautiful dress and a wonderful secret last year. Not everyone knew I was pregnant and all I could think about was how excited I was to make an Easter basket this year. I was thinking about how the Easter bunny would visit a baby the next year. I was wondering what kind of basket I would use, and what I would put in it. I would have to get a stuffed bunny whether I was having a boy or a girl. I'd get to buy an Easter outfit for a baby, and not just myself. I was so excited for right now.

   I have not been disappointed either. Easter is a little less than a month away, and I have Ryder's Easter basket almost ready. I'm just waiting on a few things to arrive in the mail. Once those arrive, I'll be able to put his basket together. Then on Easter morning, the Easter bunny will put his basket out for him to find. I have a little outfit for Sunday morning, and I have a lounge Easter outfit for him as well. 

   Christmas was fun, but Ryder was so little that he didn't really understand the excitement. He was still so new. Next Christmas will be a lot of fun (and so different)! Ryder might be walking by then, which is so hard to even imagine! So I feel like this is Ryder's first real holiday.

   Easter is going to be so cool. Ryder is grabbing at toys, and gets excited about things now. I got him some more wooden toys, a romper, a bunny, and books. I might have added some dark chocolate as well (for me, of course!). It will be awesome to see Ryder smile as I show him his toys on Easter morning. 

   It is becoming harder and harder to imagine I grew this little babe of mine. That a year ago, Easter was approaching, and this beautiful baby boy was only a secret. I look at Ryder, and I see a miracle. The miracle of life. I see a baby that spent nine months growing inside of me. I've been thanking God so much for placing Ryder in my life. This time last year, I was feeling so many emotions. Now looking back, I can see that God knew exactly what He was doing. 

xx

No Place I'd Rather Be

   My last few posts have not been very happy posts, so I think it is time for a good post. I've cut out coffee, well caffeine. I've been drinking fully decaf coffees and a little bit of sweet tea. I've been trying to drink more water. I started out the year really well, I was drinking almost a gallon a day. That was one of my resolutions, so I am making that resolution again. 

   The cool thing about resolutions is that you can start one at anytime. I am drinking more water again, and I feel immensely better. You can blame it on positive thinking if you'd like, but since I decided to give up caffeine and drink more water a few days ago, I've been happier. The weather is still cool and dreary, but my mood is not. 

   If you have any resolutions that you've drifted away from, maybe now is the time to make them again. Maybe it is time to change your resolutions or make new ones. 

   Another resolution I'm adding is that I've decided to put my phone down when my baby needs me. I've decided to hold and cherish my baby because he is the best thing to ever happen to me. There are babies out there who don't get loved on, and I don't want Ryder to ever feel like that.

   I am his mother. If Ryder needs me, I will be there. I will not let my baby cry, not because I'm spoiling him, but because he is a baby who needs his mother. When babies cry, something is wrong. That is how they communicate. When my baby needs his mother, he will have her because I know that is what is best for my child.

   I shower my baby in love, because how can I not? When I see this baby of mine smiling, it makes me know that I'm doing exactly what I should be doing. When I see my baby sleeping, that peaceful look just melts me. I will do anything to keep my baby safe. I am his protector. I want him to never be fearful of going to sleep. 

   I'll be cleaning or doing something, and I'll look over at Ryder and he will be watching me. He just watches me, and as a four month old, I know he already admires me and looks up to me. I am responsible for this beautiful, sweet child. He makes me want to be a better person. He makes me want to be the best mother I can be. 

   So my resolutions are to drink more water, and love my baby more. A little less than what I started the year with, but two things I can put all my energy into. They shouldn't be too hard, especially the second one since my heart literally overflows with love for my son.

There's no place I'd rather be.

xx

Here We Are Now

   You were restless last night my little one. I'm not quite sure why, but i do know neither of us got much sleep. After the sun came up, I was hoping we could sleep in after such a restless night, but then I heard you coo. You've started making noise and "talking." I thought maybe you were dreaming, but then you gently coo some more. I turn over to look at you and the biggest smile appears.

   I didn't think you'd be such a happy baby after a sleepless night, but you never cease to surprise me. I lay next to you and watch you smile at me as if to say good morning. I have never been a morning person, but I don't find it hard to get up as much anymore. You've given my life meaning. You've given me a reason to wake up in the morning. 

   These first few months have been a learning experience. You are my first child, and you teach me something new every day. It is amazing how much you have changed me. You've taught me to be patient, kind, and tough.

   I've never been an unbearable impatient person, but I've had my moments. You've taught me that things will happen when they happen. I can't just get up and go anywhere anymore. It is a process. I usually make sure you are ready first, and then I start getting ready. I usually have to feed you once while I'm getting ready. I have to make sure the diaper bag is ready to go, and hopefully you haven't spit up or pooped out during this time. 

   I am more patient with time as well. I love the now. I cherish the time I have with you while you are four months old. I miss the newborn days, but I'm not gonna spend my time wishing for those days back (hopefully you'll have brothers and sisters and I'll experience those days again.) I'm also so excited for you to start laughing, and I am excited to watch you grow. I don't want to rush things though. Now you are four months old. Now you are smiling, and sleeping, and wanting me to hold you close. I am content with the now.

   Kindness makes such a difference. I try to be kind to everyone I meet now. I've had difficult days, but I remember that fellow mom that gave me that encouraging smile. Those people who told me I was doing a great job right when I needed to hear it. We all have our hard days. That little bit of kindness could give someone the strength to keep going. 

   I've been so blessed by the kindness of others. I don't think I realized how kind people could be until you were born. Having you on my own was not an easy nor ideal task, but I'm not really alone. I have an amazing family who have changed their lives to help you and me. I have friends who love you as well. I want to pass that kindness on. People have been so kind to us, how could I not pass it on.

   I would never have considered myself tough, until you came along. Having a little, innocent baby has made me a momma bear, and no one messes with my baby. I've learned to say, "no." I have realized I can't please everyone, and I don't try to anymore. Ryder, you are my top priority now. I have to take care of you, and make sure you are happy. I'm thankful you have taught me to stand up for you and for myself.

  I hope I can teach you these attributes as you grow. Every day is a new day for us. Our days now consist of holding you close, breastfeeding, smiling, changing diapers, and wearing you. I love our days now. 

   Little baby of mine, as you drift to sleep in my arms, I go through the days. I'm ready to go to bed, but when I go to lay you down, you start suckling again. I don't mind though. I love holding you close to me more than anything. I know you won't always fall asleep while I hold you. 

This is my life now.

This is motherhood.

This is all I've ever wanted.

xx

Life with a Three Month Old

   Let me just say, I love my baby more and more as time goes by. I don't know how my love grows for him, because I love him with everything already. It truly is amazing. Ryder had his two month checkup (even though he is already three months, I know, I'm an awful mother) and he got his two month shots.

   He did so well. He did not cry a lot, only when they stuck him. Poor baby, he was given a little bit of baby Tylenol, and between the Tylenol and the shots, Ryder slept more than usual. When he woke up and became fussy because the Tylenol had wore off, I gave him a bit more. Let me tell you, I've never seen such a look of betrayal on my son's face. He did not like being given Tylenol at all. 

   He is growing up so well. He is 24.5 inches long, and he weighs 13 pounds and 14 ounces. He is roughly in the 50th percentile. I can tell he is starting to get chunky. He is still exclusively breastfeeding, and it is so encouraging to know that he is right on track with his weight and height. 

   Ryder loves sleeping, especially on his stomach. I'm a stomach sleeper, so I can't blame him, but I can't sleep when he is on his tummy because it scares me. Babies aren't supposed to really sleep on their stomach. I can't wait till he is rolling on his own and rolls onto his stomach, then it won't worry me as much.

   It is so cool seeing my baby grow. He is literally growing before my very eyes. He has started looking at things and studying them. He is noticing his toys and his hands. It is so awesome seeing him realize that his toy is there. He loves his hands in his mouth, and he gets better at getting them there every day.

   He is fitting into 3-6 month clothing the best, although he can wear 3 month still, and 6 month too. It is so hard to think that this little baby of mine used to fit inside me. I carried this child in my stomach for nine months, and now here he is. It is insane to look at him and know that I created him. I've said things like that before, and I'm sure that as he gets older, it will get harder and harder to believe. 

   I love having a 3 month old, even though I miss my small, precious newborn. I'm excited for what is to come, I know it is going to be a whirlwind from now on. I can definitely wait for him to grow up, because I love the now. I'm gonna miss him being so little, but I am so excited. 

xx

Growing Pains

   It is four in the morning and Ryder has been asleep since eleven. I am waiting for him to wake up. You may think I'm crazy, waiting for my baby to wake up. I lay him down in his crib for the first time in his eleven week old life. That is where he is currently sleeping at this moment.

   I have been waiting for him to wake up because I knew that he would not like his crib. I knew he would wake up and wonder where his mother is. He would awake yearning for my closeness and familiarity. I have been watching him like a hawk since he fell asleep five hours ago. I wanted to be there when he woke up. I did not expect him to go down for the night.

   My baby is growing up before my very eyes. I am making myself sit here on my bed. I keep wanting to pick him up and cuddle and nurse him back to sleep. Just the other day I was talking about how he had to be nursed to sleep. Of course only days later would I lay him in his crib to instantly fall asleep at a decent time for a full night's sleep.

   I must be crazy, being one of the only mother's complaining about having a perfect baby. I know right now there are mothers rocking there crying babes. There are mothers with babies who are teething, who are sick, who have to be held. I know that those mothers are probably exhausted and just praying for a moment of sleep. 

   Being a mother is a hard job, but it is rewarding. I hope those mothers that are up right now hold there babies tight tonight. I hope that while they are praying for that moment of sleep, that they are also praying for their little baby. Thanking God for the opportunity to be their momma. Thanking Him for what is hopefully one of the best things that ever happened to them.

   I know this is the one of many moments that will make me wish time would slow down. I'm sure Ryder will wake up in another hour or so to eat, and I am eagerly waiting to hold and nurture him. Tonight might be a fluke, and I might not get him to sleep in the crib again for awhile. If that happens, I will be just fine. I will also be just fine if he decides he loves his crib. I'm proud of my baby, and I always will be. I will be just fine being his momma.

xx

New Years Resolutions

   I was going to write a post on New Year's Day, and I was going to write out a list of my personal resolutions, but time slips away when you become a mother. As the beginning of the New Year has come and gone, I saw quite a few posts and pictures on social media making fun of resolutions. To be honest, a year ago, I would have agreed with these posts. 

   These posts stated how this was the year to actually go through with the resolutions made in 2012. Some talked about how it was another year to stay the same, and how resolutions don't mean anything. 

   

   

   Last year, I was happy in life. I didn't really have any worries, I was paying bills and working. I lived day to day, and was saving up to move out and live with a good friend of mine. I was constantly making friends and going to different parties. I thought I was living the life. I don't remember if I made any resolutions last year, if I did, they were probably along the lines of toning my body, eating healthier, cliche selfish resolutions. 

Last selfie of 2013, and last selfie of 2014.

   This year, I am writing down my resolutions. This year, I will follow through with my resolutions. This year, I will make resolutions I can keep and follow through on. I know that it has been over a week since New Years, but it is not too late to make resolutions. I highly encourage you to make at least one or two achievable resolutions for 2015.

   Here are mine.

1. I will become healthier and get to where I feel good about myself.

   My goal right now is to lose about ten or fifteen pounds. Not necessarily because I need to, but because it will make me feel better about myself, and I know losing that little bit of weight is achievable. 

2. I will not drink soda.

   Before having Ryder, I rarely drank soda. I might would treat myself once a month, but I'd choose tea or water over soda. When I got pregnant, I drank soda all the time. With the new year, I'd like to break that habit again. I know that this will help me with my first goal as well.

3. I will drink more water.

   Have you ever heard of the gallon challenge? It is where you drink a gallon of water every day. It is harder than it sounds. I started trying to drink that much water a week ago, and I've had to work myself up to drinking that much water! I'm almost to the whole gallon on one day. Let me tell you, I feel amazing too. I'm not feeling as tired and lethargic as usual. I feel like my skin is more clear and healthy, and my milk supply is better than it has ever been since Ryder has been born.(:

4. I will be the best mother I can be.

   I did not write the "perfect mother" or the "mother who has her life together all the time." Growing up, my parents always encouraged me to do my best. Sometimes your best is not perfect, but as long as it's your best, it is good enough. I need to love Ryder more than anything, treat him with respect, and teach him by example. As long as I put Ryder's needs and wants above my own, I know that I will be a good mother.

5.  I want to live in the moment more.

   I want to hold my son tighter. I want to not complain when he cries for me to hold him. I want to cherish the time I spend with my family. I want to remember to pause and take in everything. Time changes things. People leave, grow up, get busy, and I want moments to remember when these inevitable changes happen.

   As this year goes by, if you follow me on a social media site, or you have my number, shoot me a message or a text and ask me how my resolutions are doing. Whether you know me personally or not. I hope this inspires you to make one or two goals of your own this year.(:

Happy 2015!

xx

Ryder's First Christmas

   Ryder had his first Christmas this year. It was the best Christmas I've ever had! It is hard to believe that last Christmas, I had no idea Ryder would be here. Last year, my life was on a totally different path, but I'll save that for another post. I would never have imagined having a baby by this Christmas, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

   Ryder hit two months on Christmas Eve. He has become so alert, and loves to watch everything that's going on. He is starting to regularly smile and lift his head up. He won't remember his first Christmas, but I always will. 

   With Ryder being so little, I didn't personally do much this year. I did, however, take in all the different ideas and traditions that others have. Next Christmas will be a lot of fun because Ryder will kind of have an idea of what's going on. I will probably start a tradition or two next year for my little family.(:

Christmas Eve real life, Ryder did not want to be lain down at all the night before Christmas.  

   If Christmas is your favorite time of year, and you don't have any babies yet, just wait. I've always loved Christmas, but now that I get to share the magic of it with my son, I absolutely adore Christmas. I'm so excited for the years to come! I'm excited to have Santa Clause, Christmas lights, a Christmas tree, Christmas Jammies, and so much more.

Mean muggin on Christmas Eve, is he not the most adorable baby??(:

   I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas, and I hope everyone with new babies took it all in and just etched the memories in their mind. I hope everyone took too many pictures, and had too much fun. I hope you spent too much time with family, and spent a little too much money on presents. I hope everyone ate too much good food, and took too many naps. I hope you all shared too much love and cuddles, and gave one too many smiles to a stranger.(:

Merry Christmas from my little family.(:

xx