I was watching my mom change Ryder and noticed how easily she was doing it. She didn't skip a beat, even with him crying. I am getting to be that way with Ryder, and I realized it must me a mom thing. Then I remembered my dad had mentioned to me earlier this week that I'd be surprised by the things I didn't find disgusting anymore, so I decided to write this little post.
Before I had a baby, I loved babies. I wanted to be a mom when I grew up. I've changed my major in college three or four times since I've started, but I have always wanted to be a mom. I wrote a paper my senior year of highschool on being a stay at home mom. It was one of the biggest papers of the year, ha.
If someone had a baby, I wasn't too far away from them. I wanted to be nearby in case they needed someone to hold their baby. Growing up in church, I always helped with the nursery when I could. I loved being able to hold the babies more than anything.
When my mom found out she was pregnant with my baby sister, I was so excited. The idea of having a little baby in our house was so cool! There would always be a baby to hold or play with and the baby would come home with us too!
Cherith was so little when she was born. Babies seem so fragile and little, especially at first! I didn't dress Cherith a lot because I didn't want to move her too much, and she would cry. Changing her diaper wasn't something I did either, because poop and pee isn't cute. (Baby poop smells more than it should, like, how can something so little be so stinky?!) It seemed hard to change her diaper too, because her legs would flail, and I didn't want to hold her legs down, what if I hurt her? It didn't help that she would cry and make you feel bad about the whole ordeal.
It is funny how things change. I have my own baby now, and he is fragile. Even though he is fragile, I'm not scared I am going to hurt him. Before, I would just sit and hold a baby, and I'd be careful not to move too much as to not to disturb the baby. Now I am carrying Ryder while I straighten things up, or holding him while I'm eating. He cries when I change his diaper and change his clothes sometimes, but I know it is just because he is a baby and he is probably just cold.
I also find his poop, pee, and spit up slightly adorable. Well, not adorable, but it isn't awful. I was scared before he was born that I might have issues dealing with diapers and spit up, but nope. Ryder is a little over a week old, and he has pooped on me once or twice, he has had one blow out, and he has peed on me two or three times. I didn't enjoy all that happened, but it wasn't the end of the world. It didn't bother me at all and I just cleaned my poor baby up. It happens!
When a baby would spit up, I'd gag a little bit. I don't do well with spit up/throw up at all. I'm the kind of girl who will pat you with a broom across the room. I comfort people like that from afar. When Ryder spits up, it isn't so bad. It is just a little, and it really isn't a big deal at all.
It's funny the things that happen when you become a mother. Things that used to be disgusting aren't anymore. I guess it is just one of the small super powers one acquires after giving birth.
With all this being said (well, written), don't mind me if you notice something on my shirt. Especially being a new mom, it is probably just a little spit up, or Breastmilk. It could even be a combination of the two. It happens. I absolutely love it to be honest. Taking care of my son is literally my greatest joy in life now.
Oh how motherhood has changed me!<3
xx
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